The Legend of Rocky
My Acura Legend just hit the 200K mile mark.
I'd seen it coming, of course. I was looking forward to watching it click over, figured I might pull over and have a ceremony or something. But I was away from the house and my nephew stopped by and borrowed the car without asking because his much newer Pontiac went tits up and he had to get to work. So I missed the clicking over. And he was a wise-ass and told me nothing incredible happened when it clicked, like I'm stupid for caring about such things. That's the kind of bullshit thinking that goes on in the suburbs, where material things are cherished but moments are ignored.
Anyway, the car still runs great and looks good. More importantly, it looks good on me.
Epiphany - So I started to think that, even though 200,000 is a nice round number, it is just another number and my plan to celebrate it was kind of arbitrary. But before I could get down on myself I realized, "So What?" I like arbitrary. It's not a bad word. If I want to celebrate my car because it hit 200k, or drink because it's Tuesday, I should. By being arbitrary I am demonstrating free will. In fact, I'm going to be real arbitrary here and make arbitrary my religion. I am an Arbitrist. And I am abitrarily making myself a Bishop. My car looks like something a Bishop would ride in.
The next milestone for the Acura will be whatever number it reads when I am driving out of Orange County for good.
I'm an Abritrist too. I've had my car for sixteen plus years (92 Toyota Paseo). My current odometer reads 89, 587 miles. My "abitrary" plan has been to give the car to my oldest nephew (Brian) on his sixteenth birthday which happens to be on April 10, 2010. My "abritrary" goal is to pass the Paseo torch at exactly 100K miles. Based on my current driving habits, I'm averaging a shade over 5,300 miles per year. You might be asking "Does the guy drive the car further than to his local 7/11 for a slurpee?" Well on a few rare ocassions I've gone 100+ miles in 1 trip (Vegas twice). Otherwise, I drive my customary 2.2 miles each day to work and 2.2 miles back to my glorious 1 bedroom shack. Based on my calculations, come April 10, 2010, I will be at or around 98K. I have it in my "arbitrary" plans that come hell or high water, my nephew won't be the one who has the privilege and joy of seeing the odometer click over to the magical and abritrary number of 100,000. Frankly, I think I've earned the right to personally see 100k when you consider the painstaking care & pamering I've taken with my beautiful 4 cylinder car. I've Will this call for some additional roadtrips prior to April to ensure an uptick in mileage? You bet! If anything, it will call for a few additional trips to Vegas.
Sincerely,
Chirs aka "The Young Onion"
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Welcome to The Church, Young Onion. Since our congregation has doubled in one day, it's fair to say we're the fastest growing religion in America. Take your seat on the Council of Elders and choose a title. I recommend "Mullah."
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A bishop shouldn't own a car. Nothing more dangerous than a motorist who can only move diagonally.
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